Star Wars Blu-ray: DO NOT WANT!

Yes! Unleash your Nerd Rage, Lord Vader!

What is there to say about George Lucas that hasn't already been said? It's been six years since the last Star Wars prequel, so the rabid fan hate has died down a little.

Cue earlier this week, when Lucasfilm confirmed that a clip from the soon-to-be-released Star Wars Blu-ray edition was genuine.

The scene in question is was one of the best in the Original Trilogy. Palpatine is cooking Luke with lightning while Vader looks on. There's no dialogue, but we can imagine the torture inflicted on the man behind the mask.

When Vader finally snaps, he wordlessly turns to the Emperor, picks him up and tosses his ass into the nearest bottomless pit. It was sudden, and all the more dramatic because the Dark Lord never uttered a word. You can imagine he thought "Enough of this shit," before consigning his master – and himself – to death to save his son.

Instead, the Blu-ray edition interjects an entirely unnecessary "Noooo!" over Vader's heroic last act. You'll remember a similar bit from Revenge of the Sith, where Vader bellowed after learning that Padmé was dead.




The whole prequel callback is nothing new; the DVD edition of the OT (which came out shortly before RotS) inserted a Gungan into one of the final scenes and replaced Boba Fett's voice with prequel actor Temura Morrison's.

The phenomenon of Lucas' meddling with the OT is nothing new, but this is the final straw for me, and a lot of other fans, I'm sure. I don't own a Blu-ray player anyway, so the new release of all six films doesn't mean that much to me.

At this point, I'm inclined to shun the Special Edition/DVD versions entirely and pick up the original prints on DVD (quietly released a few years ago). Sadly, these haven't gotten the digital cleanup process (though they never fixed the lightsabers and "black slugs").

I wonder if Lucas is completely beyond redemption. In his battle to save his livelihood and vision, he lost sight of what made Star Wars great. Now he's obsessed with rewriting history, remaking classic films with technology that was but a dream in the 70s. It just doesn't work; perfectly good can't be made better retroactively.

You know what George, go make some new films. Not Star Wars films. He bitched for years that he wanted to make small, experimental features. Go do it! Money isn't the issue. And you obviously do not give a single fuck what people think of your craft.

Speaking of Lucas films, Red Tails will look pretty, but suck. Calling that right now. I don't care what is involvement was, anything the man has touched since The Last Crusade has been crap, at least compared to the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones.

Let's pray that Indy is done being raped after the Kingdom of the Crystal Meth. I'd hate to see the original three ruined… wait. You know what, do what you will with Temple of Doom, it's asking for it.

A few "Nooo!"s for Mola Rham should do the trick.

Bioshock-ing News

I've given up on trying to protect my childhood. George Lucas raped it with the Star Wars prequels. J.J. Abrams raped it with last year's Star Trek. I could go on about the things wrong with the new "Trek," but I this isn't the time or place.

It seems that I shouldn't even savor the escapism of my adult years, either. We can all agree that video game movies are terrible. Thankfully, most of the adaptations have been limited to games I have had little attachment to. But with Hollywood's ravenous appetite, sooner or later one of my beloved franchises would be desecrated.

I just found out today that a "Bioshock" movie is in the works.