'GoldenEye' is Back... But Not Really

Well, there they go. My hopes dashed, yet again.

Everyone got their hopes up when "GoldenEye 007: Reloaded" was trademarked. "Finally," we thought, "we'll get what we deserve!"

Oh, we got what we deserved, all right. We got all excited over a trademark rumor, and now look. We should know better by now!

"For England, James?"
"No, for money."

"GoldenEye 007: Reloaded" isn't the last-ditch, hail mary attempt to bring the original game to modern consoles. No, it's a port of last year's "GoldenEye 007" for the Wii. A decent enough game, but totally inappropriate use of the name.

In fact, this is the third time the "GoldenEye" name has been borrowed to sell inferior products. Either consumers are dumb enough to believe that anything with "GoldenEye" in the title can recapture the magic of the original, or developers and publishers are stupid enough to keep trying.

There must be one helluva legal mess behind the rights to the original game. Otherwise, it would be easy money for Microsoft (who now owns Rare, the developer). There was hope at one point; remember those screenshots and short video that leaked online a few years ago? An HD version of "GoldenEye" is out there, somewhere.

I'm not sure if it qualifies as vaporware, but "GoldenEye HD" might be the next "Duke Nukem Forever". Where DNF's sales were fueled by nostalgia and morbid curiosity, "GoldenEye" is more than nostalgia. It's the promise to have one of the all-time gaming classics accessible to a new generation, while giving the old one a way to enjoy it all over again.

The whole situation speaks to a relatively new phenomenon in gaming: reissuing older games. Even if the game is only a few years old, these ports bring the experience to gamers who never had the chance to play the original.

I'm looking forward to the "Metal Gear Solid" HD ports coming to the Xbox 360. I never owned a PlayStation console, so they are "new" games to me. Just think, there are some young punks out there who weren't even born when "GoldenEye" was released.

Nintendo, I blame you for "GoldenEye" being stuck in the shadows. Shit or get off the pot: if you can't release it, let someone else. We all see through this whole "'GoldenEye' is Back!" facade. When you go bankrupt from the failure of the Wii U, you can cushion the blow by selling the rights to "GoldenEye".