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| Courtesy of Javis Ray. Check out Legacy-Control.com |
Unfortunately, I'm not a savant that goes from average player to Drunken Master. In fact, the last time I played "Battlefield: Bad Company 2" whilst under the influence, I ended up trying to repair a shed instead of a tank.
You'd have to ask my friends whether or not I'm particularly obnoxious while drinking and playing… but I like to think I'm not a complete jerk. I'm normally a very self-conscious drunk, often apologizing for my poor performance (that's what she said). If anything, my stupor makes the conversations with my Xbox Live buddies all the more amusing.
I can't say I've played with anyone while they were drunk… at least, not completely wasted. I recall Tashtego Blue imbibing a bit of wine once. I suspect he'll be needing the hooch more now that he has a baby boy… I kid, I kid! When little Henry's a teenager, maybe. But old Tash is a classy fellow, and I try to follow suit.
I can say with certitude that playing "Magic the Gathering 2012" on Xbox Live Arcade would be a bad idea whilst possessed by "spirits." I can barely make a coherent play while sober. Seriously, it's a hard game. I can't say I respect the nerds who play it IRL, but I admire their brain's ability to process all the details. And yet, they'll never figure out how to undo a girl's bra.
Speaking of pop-pop, expert(s) say that men over the age of 30 shouldn't even play video games. No health reasons or anything… you're just not as cool, and your attention should be focused elsewhere. I think you know what I'm saying. Nevermind that the median age for gamers is in the 30s anyway. You know, the type of people with income to spend and need of a little escapism.
Well middle-aged men, I say put down the controller, chase some skirts. More games for me. Which I will enjoy with a bottle of cheap wine and lack of pants. Have fun with that mental picture the next time we play together online!
Cheers, bitches!
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